Managing MRI Anxiety
Rather predictably, I haven’t updated this thing in forever. We’ve fallen into a regular routine with my screenings, and we just finished my most recent cycle of MRIs.
I approach each MRI with a not-insignificant amount of dread, but a lot of hard work in therapy has helped lessen the panic. I want to touch on my process for anyone reading this who also feels entitled to a “Get 10 MRIs, Get One Free” punch card. October was filled with double the MRIs, but my anxiety level was much lower than it has been in the past.
My endocrinologist (currently in the running for best doctor I have ever had, along with my breast surgeon) ordered a head and neck MRI to rule out the presence of any kind of growth on my pituitary gland. A year ago, this would’ve immediately triggered a deep panic over brain tumors and my inevitable, looming death but I’ve worked hard to develop coping strategies:
Ask yourself, what do you want your day to look like? My therapist has said this before every procedure I’ve had, and on the one millionth time it finally clicked. I have learned that most of my anxiety occurs in the tube and then during the wait for the results, so Aaron and I have worked together to develop coping strategies for the day of. Usually it looks like scheduling the MRI for a Friday so I can have the weekend to recover emotionally, taking a Xanax before the MRI to lower the chances of a panic attack, and going out for lunch after. Recent excellent food choices here in Austin have included bagels (boiled!) from Nervous Charlies and slices of pizza from the new Home Slice location in North Loop. Honestly though, I was skeptical about the idea of a french toast bagel but its an absolute must.
What helps you ground in the moment? I have learned that I speed up when my anxiety is activated; my breaths become more shallow, my speech is pressured, and my outside starts to reflect my swirling insides. Research has shown (LINK) smells are strongly linked with memory, and can also help interrupt those panic cycles; I’ve started carrying an essential oil rollerball with me and using it when I feel myself start to get bogged down in my anxiety brain. If you’re like me, you make associations quickly and will want to switch up the scents every so often so you don’t inadvertently wind up triggered by what’s supposed to help! Right now I’m using this rose one from Anthropologie (for your heart chakra, I guess). After surgery I used lavender, and I used paolo santo during a particularly triggering time over the summer.
Identify an advocate. I am lucky enough to have a partner who is able to accompany me to all of my procedures and most of my doctor’s appointments. Having a second pair of ears is invaluable to catching something that might slide through your already-tired brain, and its even better when you can nominate them to be your advocate. When I had my surgery Aaron kept reminding me to let him “be president,” meaning he would advocate for me to the nurses when I needed a different medication or a procedure wasn’t working. Screenings are a great opportunity to practice advocating for yourself—don’t be afraid to tell staff what works best for you! I learned a long time ago that blood draws and IV placements are much easier for me when I’m lying down, so now each time I go I make sure to tell the staff. Occasionally someone will get nervous (I think they think I’m going to faint), but their nerves come second to your comfort. My biggest victory recently was asking the MRI tech if I could listen to something during my head and neck MRI— they quickly handed me some headphones and put on my favorite radio station, which is lightyears more enjoyable than listening to the hell-infused EDM that is the MRI machine at work.
That’s basically it! Not a super deep dive into my experiences with MRIs (I hate them but they do get easier), but hopefully enough to offer support to others in a similar situation.